New Year Reflection, Prompts, Dreams, and Ritual
When I was packing up my stuff to move apartments last month, I came upon this huge packet of goals and tactics I filled out at the start of 2024. I got a pit in my stomach and threw it away. How terrifying… the thought of seeing a huge list of things I failed to do. But this morning, I wished I could see it, maybe there was something to learn in there. I was the only person who would have seen it, and there was no greater consequence than my own disappointment. And still, I couldn’t stand to look. I wrote down: When did failure become unsafe within the space of my own mind and body?
I love to ritualize the passing of a year and realign to invite another. It’s a beautiful opportunity to check in and to dream. But it can also feel really hard sometimes: the weight of another year passing. So here is a space not for unapologetic assertions of success and failure or another how-to on fool-proof goal setting, but for ritualizing in a complicated and grateful way the turning over of a new year.
This is for reflecting from love (together), really getting a sense of where we’re at, imagining what could be, getting to know how it might look and feel for us, playing, and affirming.
Here we go!...
Start with Reflecting…
In 2024 a lot happened that I… didn’t really forget… that’s not it, but maybe bookmarked, or breezed over in the collective days that form the memory of 2024.
Take a moment. Use evidence from the past year to remember the highlights, what was hard, and generally where you’re at heading into 2025.
What were the highlights of each month? (I used the camera role method to jog my memory– very helpful)
What were some of the things you forgot?
How did you feel in some of those favorite memories of this year?
There were also challenges this year. Without a doubt. And headed into a fresh start, those things that knot our chests and dim the light over our heads lose an almost laughable amount of power when we look them in the face. The duo of power and fear is funny that way.
What brought my energy down?
How can I change my relationship to those things?
What have I learned about myself?
And here’s one more that’s been big for me this year…
2. What are your not-so-shiny wins???
Life is hard work. You’ve been growing these past 365 days in ways you never could have put on last year’s lit of goals.
Here’s the thing about what I perceived as my ‘okay’ 2024: My baseline, mentally, was higher than I remember it being in a really long time–maybe ever. And that has been a goal of mine for a really long time. Shouldn’t my overall perceived sense of well-being carry more weight than a list of goals?
I may be a person who fears mediocrity. Mentally I run by this little script of if something’s not fabulous, fuck it. I’m high or low, killing it or it’s killing me. I’ve been told it’s a version of perfectionism that sneakily gains power because it doesn’t look the way we think of ‘perfectionism.’ And I’ve also been told it’s a thief of joy. I’ve felt that… I’ve felt it stand in the way of creating something I wanted or showing up for people I love. Think of how many things you could appreciate or experience if you let them be just… kind of okay. Maybe what I accomplished this year was better mediocrity. What a fucking win! And no, not the shiny kind. Not the kind anyone can really even see! This year has been grueling, behind-the-scenes work that’s led me to feel the Earth under my feet, and imagine a limitlessness of space around and ahead of me! It’s made me perceive myself as a more content, well human.
3. Dream Journal
A dream journal leading up to the new year can act as a kind of audit for the subconscious– what’s on your subconscious mind as you head into this year? We don’t always have to pick apart symbols as life metaphors, but we can notice what feelings were stirred up in our dreams, and maybe what’s happening tucked away in the back corners of our mind. A full declutter of sorts. (On that note: physical decluttering can also offer a blank slate feeling).
4. Sensory Imagery & Physical Creation
Bringing life, visions, and creation to how you want life to look and feel.
This is where a lot of us like to vision board. Why? Because it helps us imagine things. And when we imagine, there’s a part of our silly human brains that doesn’t know the difference. So, we come to get familiar with that version of ourselves, that version of our lives.
Ideas…
Of course, Pinterest is great for this. So is digital collaging with tools like Procreate.
It’s also nice to use your hands to bring a vision to life: collage, doodle, paint…
On that note, I’m a big fan of junk journaling alongside bucketlisting. It’s a form of bringing gratitude for where you’re coming from together with experiences you’d like to have. And it allows it all to live together in the shared world of a physical page!
Make a playlist full of music that represents how you want to feel in your next chapter.
Write a letter to a friend or loved one about your day from a future version of yourself. Get into the details of what you did and how it felt.
!@callikayferg many things to do and memories to be made 🗺️ lmk if you know the video i saw… #summerbucketlist #thingstodoinnyc #summerinnyc #scrapbook ♬ The Bug Collector - BEN SCOTT
5. Repeat What You Want to Feel True
Beliefs take practice. Here are some I’ve been liking:
I am the best person to take myself to where I want to go, and who I want to be.
I have the tools I need to move forward authentically on my path. That’s more true now than ever.
My life and the people in it deserve my best self; and I deserve the life of my dreams.
I’m constantly growing.
I also only remember now that when I wrote down all of those goals, dreams, and ambitions int the packet last year, I knew they were ambitious. I was on a New Year high. I wanted to dream big and I was also REALLY hoping I wouldn’t beat myself up or switch into that ‘fuck it’ mentality if I dropped the ball a little bit! That dreaming and goal-setting came from a place of self-love I never had the capacity for before this year. I wanted to show up, and find structure or a bit of discipline not only for my life and the people in it but for myself! Now if that part of myself could speak, I wonder if she’d lovingly say something like, “You didn’t let me down… you couldn’t let me down. I wanted this for you.”
